dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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