Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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