she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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