This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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