If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
