a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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