wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hippo gnu deer
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
