She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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