Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
