I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize