dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
