put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
