I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
