i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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