ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
