She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
