STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
