drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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