and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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