did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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