Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
