I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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