At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
