Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
