I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
