Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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