Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
