he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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