Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
