my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
