I want you more than these girls want KFC
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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