Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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