We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just found puke in my bra..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
