You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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