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Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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