your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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