I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish you could order shots online.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
