Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize