bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
