Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
