dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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