I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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