Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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