If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
