I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
