1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
