Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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