this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
