Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
