so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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