i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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