Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
