omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
