I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
